Community Group Goodness

Well hey there... it has been so long since I have posted anything. Sorry about that.... things have been crazy. What have we been up to? We have just continued to invest and be invested in at Mosaic and have been learning so much.

For the past year I have been involved in a Community Group (small group) at Mosaic lead by a friend of mine. The experience enriched my life in so many ways. I found great friendship and community with a group of women who started out meeting in a cafe, until we grew so large we needed a bigger space. Growth of a Community Group is so exciting because it is a sure sign that the group is HEALTHY!! When our group ended for the summer I knew it was time for me to start another womens Community Group for ladies at the Mayan. I partnered up with an amazing co leader Kelsea, and I swear it was meant to be. Perfect. Match.

Our group met over the summer and quickly bonded with shared experiences, interests, fears, passions, a longing for community, and a heart for the Creator of the universe. Our first official group for this fall session was this past Wednesday! I am so amazed at how willing women are to share and really be authentic with one another when given the space. The ladies in this group are already bringing so much joy to my world. The hope for the group is that we are a safe place for women to risk, fail, succeed, cry, laugh, grow, and lean into a conversation with God that can change our lives. I am just so excited to see what the next 10 weeks will hold.

Over a year ago when we moved to LA, I just wanted to survive. Keep my head above water and hopefully grow in the process. Man how things changed. Quickly I was hooked to this movement in the city of Los Angeles. A movement grounded in faith, love, and hope seeking to create good. I am forever changed by this community and am so excited about taking my next step by leading a Community Group.

Much Love from CA,

Jess

Traveling and Celebrating

So since the last time I blogged we have traveled quite a bit!! Here is a quick up date...

First, we went to HAWAII....

and it was amazing! We had such great time "honeymooning" together :). Some girls dream about their wedding all of their life... I was the girl who was dreaming of a honeymoon to a tropical paradise! haha, that might be sad. But it is true! We never had the nice relaxing get away that I had always dreamed of, so this trip was just fabulous. We were both in need of a get away. We find ourselves running in a million different directions and not as much time together as we would like. It was nice to be together for 6 days without meetings, class, work, etc. Hawaii was everything we thought it would be and so much more. We stayed on Maui and the scenery was unlike anything I have ever seen. The food was out of this world. And the time we spent connecting and relaxing was beyond words.

Here are some pictures from the trip and a little info!

We went hiking one day and this was one of the beautiful spots we found!! SOO many tide pools to explore on our hike! We loved it.
Wayyy up there is the top of a volcano!!!

First night out to dinner at a place called Mama's Fish House. Seriously the nicest place we have ever been. The view was incredible, the food was soooo yummy and the company was sweet ;)

We saw WHALES!!! We went on a snorkeling/whale watching cruise. I told Luke before we got on the boat "this is one of those activities where you meet people and chat through out the entire trip". He didn't seem to understand this process.... We had new friends within the first hour :)

This was taken at our resort on our last night.

There is so much more to say about this trip and so many more photos to share. But that is the cliff notes version.

Not long after we got back from Hawaii we flew to GA for Sarah Beth and Cameron's wedding. We both got a lot of family time and I got to see my sister perform in her senior musical! She was amazing. I also go to be with my mom on Mother's day!

The wedding was perfect and all of the festivities were an amazing time of catching up with people we had not seen in a year! Here are a few pictures from the day.

Typical.

So happy for this girl.

One of my favorites from the day.

Just a week and half later I was able to fly home again to see my little sister graduate from high school! Such an exciting time for her and I am so proud of the the person she is. I often wish that some of her "chillness" would rub off on me. She is headed to college in the fall and I can't wait to see all of the good she creates in this world.

So, there is a little update on the last month. WOW. Soooo much goodness.

Love from CA,

Jess

Growing Up is Weird.

Luke and I have been challenged so much since we have been in LA. We have been challenged as a couple and as individuals. There is so much growth happening it is insane. With growth sometimes comes pain and unfamiliarity but results in so much beauty. I think that sometimes we surprise ourselves by how much we love this city and the community at Mosaic. We have thrown ourselves into exciting things and most of the time don't have a chance to look back. Needless to say, we love it here. Even on "bad" days we are thankful to be here and inspired by the people around us.

With all that said, here is a thought that keeps coming to mind lately... Growing up is weird. Who knew? No one told me. Ya know, it was a little strange when I started the big girl job and was teaching. Then as soon as I got used to that feeling of newness and normalcy we pack up and head to the West Coast. But in the past 9 months I have slowly realized that going through the process of growing up is just different when you have moved. I sometimes feel like I am so disconnected from things back home. I know this is all part of growing up and starting our own life, but I didn't realize how hard it would be to see and hear about things moving and changing in my old world and not actually being present. I am a "feeler" I feel things so deeply, and a huge part of an experience for me is how I feel, how do other people feel and react, what conversations are had, etc. So it has been tough to hear or see pictures of my old reality moving forward and changing and not being present.

My sister is competing with a dance team for the first year ever, getting ready for college, shopping for prom dresses, working at Chick Fil A (JEALOUS). And I am not there. Not experiencing it, not sitting with my parents at the events supporting Haley.

My sweet friend Shanna graduated a few weeks ago. I know how hard she worked to get there. I was there when she started her waaay intense program. I had the privildge of hearing her talk about all the details, her excitement, her fear and I loved feeling it all with her. And to see it finish out but not be a part of the celebration was hard.

One of my most precious friends is getting married. Sarah Beth is a friend where there is no pressure to be anything but who we are, like the things we like, be honest with each other, cry, share stories, laugh, share fears and dreams and never be concerned about judgment. She is honestly like another sister to me and I miss her terribly. I am out of this world happy for her and this special time and totally realize that she has plenty of people to share this time with and she is well taken care of. However, in a selfish way I find myself tearing up at the facebook photos of events where I am not. Really, you should have seen Luke's face when he realized there were actual tears in my eyes while looking at facebook photos.

I am so glad that I can see pictures of all the events happening in my old world, but at the end of the day they are still images. The part that feeds my soul is missing... like the interaction between friends, the emotions that play out, the laughter that starts in your belly and comes out in a loud burst of joy, the agonizing questions and staring in the mirror that happens when picking the perfect prom dress, the hilarious stories told when Haley comes home from musical practice, hearing/seeing her practice... and practice... and practice dances until they are flawless, sensing the stress she is is putting on herself to do her very best. All of these things are missing and causing me to feel disconnected. When I think about my trip to GA next month I feel so many emotions and am so overwhelmed with them that I can barely stand it.

Lastly, in the moments where I feel terribly disconnected I have to remind myself that though I am disconnected from my old reality, we are connected to so many new and interesting people in LA. I am honestly thrilled to be being challenged in this season of life. I can feel myself becoming a better me each day. My goal is to live in the moment, in this reality. I am actively "feeling" it all and taking it all in.

If you didn't know I was so into being able to "feel" everything, now you do. Hope that wasn't too overwhelming.

Love from CA,

Jess

P.S. 8 days until Hawaii!!!!

Bye Bye Nanny Land!

Bye Bye Nanny Land... Hello Teaching :)

This week was my first week working full time at my new job! I am teaching in a private school and I loved my first week! The kids are great. It is a multi aged classroom so that has been different but the program is set up so that kids can get one on one attention that they need!! I don't have much to update about the school yet since I was only there a week but I will update as things progress. All I know is that my days are much more enjoyable, I feel meaningful again and the kids seem to really like me!

This week is Spring break for my new school!! So I plan on catching up on some rest, going to the beach and catching up on some of the relationships that got pushed back with all the craziness of working 2 jobs and being stressed about this new one working out!

Another thing I have to mention is that we will be in Hawaii in 16 days!!

Love from the West Coast,

Jess

Nanny Mom Lost Her Mind

Okay, in case you have been anxiously waiting for the update on how nanny mom reacted to my two weeks notice, here we go...

She sent me a nasty e-mail that called me irresponsible, inconsiderate, and selfish. Then let me know that she did not want me to come back to her home and work for 2 weeks. She asked me to drop her key off in the mailbox and she said that she would mail my pay checks (praying that actually happens since we need it to pay the bills this month). Normally an e-mail like this would really crush me. But all of the things she called me are words that I know do not describe me and I have seen her life patterns for long enough to know that this is the way she "deals" when life doesn't go her way. She stamps her feet and pitches a royal fit.

I have stayed in contact with the nanny agency that I worked for to see how things are going and help him in anyway possible since things ended so abruptly. Until Friday she was ignoring him, would not call him back. Crazy! He is just trying to help her find someone else to fill my spot. One would think that after a week to cool off she would be able to have a conversation with the agency. NO. I got an email from the agency this morning and he finally got to talk to her yesterday but she was still so mad that he had to ask her to call back when she could speak to him in a "reasonable manner". WOW. Needless to say she is taking this hard and is just taking out everyone in her path.

There are only 2 things that are still weighing on me about this situation

1) What does nanny kid think happened to me? One day I was there and the next day I am not. No closure for her and I hate for her to think that the one person who spent every weekday with her just left her high and dry.

2) My paycheck

I am glad it is over, but will be ready to really let it go when I get those pay checks!

No more nanny diaries!! Thank goodness!

Love from CA,

Jess

Two Weeks Notice

Last week I applied for a new job at small private school down the street from our house!! Well, since then, the head of the school called me back and I GOT THE JOB!! The school is VERY different from what I have experienced in public school, but still fabulous!

Turned in my letter of resignation and gave two weeks notice. Nanny mom has been out of town so I have not seen/heard her reaction yet. Needless to say I am expecting this next two weeks to be awkward and filled with a pouting adult. I think she will be shocked and offended that I am not just so happy working with her family that I would pass up a teaching job.

This week I worked at the school from 8:30-1:30 and at the nanny house from 2-7. I got my butt up and to the gym everyday at 6 a.m. Believe it or not , that was the one hour of sanity in my day and I loved it (might sound crazy, but it is true).

Even though I am totally excited I am also very stressed. I am stressed about her reaction, I don't like conflict and I try to avoid upsetting people. If nanny mom accepts my two weeks notice I will continue to work 10 hour days until April 8th and then I will start full time at the school.

I will keep you posted on nanny moms reaction and how the next couple of weeks go. Bottom line is... I am ready to be out of nanny moms grip and start feeling good about the work I am doing again. This nanny job has taken a toll on me, the main way is this... Luke and I took Strength Finder 2.o and in my top 5 strengths are Restorative, Consistency, Responsibility, Harmony, and Achiever.

Nothing about this nanny job is CONSISTENT, I take RESPONSIBILITY for everyones actions and needs in a house of 5 irresponsible people, HARMONY is hard to come by and I find myself desperately trying to create it with no success, and most days pass with me feeling like I didn't actually ACHIEVE anything. All of this combined usually leaves me drained. I am not unhappy at the end of every day, but I can feel the toll it has taken on me emotionally.

Thank goodness for my awesome husband and Mosaic family who fill my life with such happiness.

Love from CA,

Jess

Miracles Happening

A few days ago I shared that I sometimes struggle with Luke's health and what it looks like in relation to our future together. I am so overwhelmed by events that have happened since that short post. Let me start from the beginning...

Our path has continued to cross with Dave and Kim Rhodes. They are a couple that not only inspire but believe in us. Well, Kim and I have developed a friendship that takes place 3,000 miles apart. She has really become a safe place for me to share and gain feedback. Recently I realized that I needed a place to vocalize my feelings, thoughts, emotions, concerns about Luke's health. So I did something I don't normally do. I brought up this struggle in one of our conversations and asked that she be a person I can share with on good days or bad days. She is a great sounding board and listening ear. I kept saying things like "it is hard for me to open up about this portion of our life because I feel like no one can REALLY understand" during our conversation. Because that is the truth, people don't understand and I am sensitive to that but I don't want people to feel bad for me, or look at Luke differently, or get freaked out to be quiet honest. So I just kept it all inside and allowed it to be the one area that was "mine". I made sure to pretend I was always okay and had it together in this one area. Our conversation ended with Kim asking if she could share with Dave and process the information but saying that she would start praying for someone who did "get it".

That weekend Dave was speaking at a retreat in Louisiana. Apparently he felt compelled to change what he was going to speak on at the last minute and one thing lead to another and the topic he ended up talking about caused a young guy to approach him at the end. This guy said to him something to the extent of "Everything you were talking about tonight is so relevant to my life because I have Cystic Fibrosis and I just got married and my health causes my wife to have a lot of concerns" If I remember correctly he made the point that since this is how his life has always been and it is all he knows the concerns that his wife has are not as heavy on his heart (this is where Luke and I find ourselves when dealing with CF). So needless to say this is CRAZY. Dave is standing in front of this couple who is exactly what Kim committed to pray for as a connection for me. Whoa! As Kim is telling me this story and she nears the end she says, Dave told me to tell you "that God hears you, he is listening and you are not alone" NOTE: I never told Kim that I felt like God didn't hear me. I had definitely been feeling that maybe He didn't hear me and a little alone in this part of our life. But I NEVER said it out loud. So how Dave knew that it was urgent that I hear "God hears you, he is listening and you are not alone" is truly beyond me. I am not sure if I did a great job of putting this story into words but it is without a doubt a miracle. There is no way any of it is coincidence. God's fingerprints are ALL over this and I am in awe.

I now have this couples contact information and will hopefully get in touch with them soon. I cant wait to see where the Rhodes/Hughes journeys continue to connect and I am thankful for how intentional they have been in staying active in our life even from so far away.

Just wanted to share this truly miraculous event that went down this weekend. Thanks for reading.

Love from CA,

Jess

I'm Still Alive.

Hey Everyone!

Sorry, I have been MIA. Things got crazy here and I have been neglecting to blog. But, I'M BACK! a few updates...

*Luke's parents come to visit this month! We are excited to see them.

*We are going to Hawaii next month Counting down the days.

*Luke and I are busy serving in different areas at Mosaic (more to come on that) and LOVING it!

*We are getting excited for a visit to GA to be in Sarah Beth and Cam's wedding in May! Cant wait!!!

Things are exciting and moving quickly here. I am headed to the nanny house for work so I will post more later.

If you want to keep up with my nanny adventures follow my on twitter @ jhughesLA... never a dull moment.

Love from CA,

Jess

Life: Not Taken For Granted

I have recently been thinking a lot about Luke's health. The struggle that I have with this topic sometimes seems small and other times feels very overwhelming. I stumbled upon this blog, Faith, Hope and Lovebugs of a CF patient and her husbands blog Confessions of a CF Husband. I was moved and inspired by this family and their story. I am thrilled to say that I am able to journey through life with the most incredible human being I have ever met. Some days I struggle with the thoughts of having to live life without him one day, but most days are full of striving to not take one minute for granted and loving this journey we are traveling together. I will share more about this portion of our journey as I feel compelled to, but for now I wanted to share these blogs so that you might be inspired. Click on the highlighted text above to check them out.

I want to end with this

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Matthew 6:25-27

A friend reminded me of these verses this week and the relevance they have to my everyday life. Thank you Kim.

Love from CA,

Jess

2011, The Year Of _______

Well, it is 2011. WOW! Sooo I am not really a fan of New Years resolutions, but a couple of weeks ago at the Mayan Hank Fortner gave me a new way to look at the start of a new year. Instead of setting this one goal that I want to see accomplished at the beginning of 2012, make it The Year of _______. I think 2011 will be the year of many things for me, but I want to focus on this one....

The Year of Letting Go!

Since moving to California I have been learning a lot about myself, things I never imagined could be a reality. I have surprised myself (as well as many of my friends and family) with how I have adapted to this new place! I can't explain how it happened, but it did... I have fallen in love with this city and the people here. So many things make sense in life right now, but there are still some things that I am seeking answers in, for me this can be very dangerous. I am finding that as I "let go" I am able to enjoy the journey and process of discovery and growth.

At our wedding we had a slideshow for our guests to watch and Luke and I both picked a song to go with the pictures representing our life. I chose a song called I'm Letting Go by Francesca Battistelli. As I think back to what that song ment for me then, just 6 months ago I realize that was only the beginning of my journey to "let go"

What will 2011 be the year of for you???

Much LOVE from the West Coast,

Jess